Thankfully, I ran across the story of Blind Bartimaeus (Luke 18:35-43). As Bartimaeus heard Jesus was passing by, he knew this was a golden opportunity. He had heard of this one who healed the sick, the diseased, the blind, the deaf, mute and paralyzed. Jesus, who raised the dead, was passing by and if only Bartimaeus could get his attention, maybe Jesus would help him! He knew some would disapprove of this public display of desperation, but what the hell, Jesus was his only hope. He cried out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"
As I grow more and more aware of my own blindness a voice deep within me wells up, a voice of desperation and desire, the voice of my soul, crying - "Jesus, my Savior, have mercy on me!" Often I can get stuck in self-pity or pride and suffocate my soul's cry, but Holy Spirit is always sweet in persisting upon me until I surrender myself to Him and let him open the eyes of my heart to see and receive Father's love.
Interestingly, we read that "those who led the way rebuked him (Bartimaeus) and told him to be quiet." This is the devil's voice and can often be heard through the mouths of those in positions of leadership (I know because I have been that leader at times). The devil will tell us that we're expecting too much, or should be content with what we already have, that we should just fit in with everyone else around us, even that we should just do what our pastor tells us. Bartimaeus reminds us all there is only one way into the kingdom of God - become like a child - "but he shouted all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!'"
I'm learning to ignore the voice of discouragement and "shout all the more!" When we realize that apart from Holy Spirit dwelling in us we're blind, deaf and dumb and that no person on this earth can save us, a desperation begins to well up in us, a cry for His mercy, a plea for God to save. And guess what? "Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him." Jesus is attracted to the cries of hungry souls. Like a mother with her child, Jesus drops everything to attend to the soul cry of every person. From the very first yelp, sniffle, tear, groan, scream or any other expression of crying out for God, He draws near. And like newborn infants, it often takes a bit to calm us to realize that at the very first cry God was ready to supply our souls with Holy Spirit, the heavenly drink that satisfies all in all.
We have been taught for so long how to behave appropriately with God. Leaders have taught us to be civil and courteous with God, to be reverent, orderly, refined, put together, clean, anything but messy. That's the voice of the enemy seeking to suppress our soul's cry. Crying, even as adults, is always messy. It's time we take Bartimaeus' lead and in the face of these other voices, WE CRY OUT TO GOD ALL THE MORE - "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Anyone who has spent time around infants knows they cry until they are satisfied. Let your soul cry until it is satisfied with the drink of heaven - Holy Spirit.
"If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him (John 7:37-38)."
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