Thursday, June 4, 2009

Soil Preparation

"Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop - 100, 60 or 30 times what was sown."  - Matthew 13:8

This promise hooked me a couple weeks ago. I have often interpreted the diverse bad soils spoken of earlier in the parable as different persons, each in their own place, therefore encouraging me to pray regularly to be good soil. This prayer is good, but I realized the other day that I've missed the point of the parable. Jesus is trying to teach about the journey toward becoming good soil. Too often I have condemned myself when my soil is found to be too hard, or too shallow or too full of weeds for God's heavenly seed (promises) to find a home to grow.

A year ago I received a fresh vision for my life. Jesus invited me more deeply into discipleship by opening my heart to believe that I was to be doing what he did on earth and more. Preaching the gospel, healing the sick, raising the dead, casting out demons and loving others as myself - the excitement was overwhelming. 

But after 3 months of tasting divine revelation, signs, wonders and miraculous healings, I found myself overshadowed by a growing realization that my life simply could not sustain an environment favorable for these new heavenly fruits. I found myself easily overcome by fear, anxiety and insecurity. My days were becoming a roller-coaster of ups and downs, overwhelmed in his love one day and then angry, hostile and disconnected the next. I connected less and less with signs, wonders and revelation and more and more with the hardness, shallowness and the clutter of my heart. These are the times when giving up seems so much easier than pressing on.

Thankfully, I have been through many of these seasons of SOIL PREPARATION; some small and others large. But I have learned that whenever God wants to bring us into a new level of maturity and fruitfulness he picks out a plot of land in our hearts where he decides to farm his kingdom crops. He invites us into the journey with wonderful visions and promises that peak our excitement and win our obedience. Then, just as you have tasted a bit of the goodness, he begins the real work. 

First, he removes his heavenly garment and ties a towel around his waist. He gets down on his knees and begins with his own hands to dig into the hardened soil until he uncovers a large stone with the word fear on it. He looks up at us as we look on in pain and shame as this secret is revealed, and his eyes communicate grace, and forgiveness and the promise of something new. He weeps over the presence of that rock together with us, softening the soil with the tears we share until the rock can be dislodged. His tears, filled with heavens nutrients of love, joy and peace permeate deeply into the soil transforming the very composition. 

Then, with surgical precision, he goes on gently digging, unconcerned with his now soiled garments and hands, until he discovers a root system of an old weed that has been hidden beneath the surface for some time. It is no longer alive, but still takes precious space and will certainly cause complications for the development of any new seed. He patiently searches out each finger extending from the main root, until the entire root is removed. On it are the words "sexual abuse," with each individual finger labeled, but still too small to decipher. As Jesus removes the final pieces, he turns to find we have now buried our face in our hands, consumed with guilt and anger. "Why expose what was before unnoticed?" we ask him. 
Only now do we notice the blazing fire in his eyes. Undoubtedly we know his heart burns with anger toward the wounds inflicted upon us by others, and yet with tenderness, he responds, "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7)." We cry together as he holds us, our tears flowing together into the soil - healing it - preparing it.

Certainly, we think, he must be finished. But Jesus turns again to the soil, again reaching deep with his hands, until he uncovers more rocks and more roots. "Lust," "Unforgiveness," "Greed," "Self-hatred," "White Lies," "Pride," "Bitterness," "Envy." One by one, he removes each with the same care, precision and gentleness we are growing to appreciate. At times we cry for him to stop, the pain and shame feeling unbearable, while at other times we are overwhelmed with an increasing peace and freedom growing deep in our soul. Days, weeks and months pass as he reminds us of the visions and promises for our future; daily speaking to us that we are his beloved, his child, his friend. Daily he tends to the soil. 

Finally, he explains the mystery of what he is doing. As we lean in, ready to receive every word, he says, "turn around." To our surprise, as we turn to look upon the soil he has before worked on, we see something small, but certainly different to what was there before. As we squint to focus, we see the first signs of something incredible, the first sproutlings of a new crop - new life. They are small, and are too early to harvest, but they are green, very green, and full of promise and hope for an abundant future. Only then, do we understand that Jesus was all the while planting kingdom seed into the soil that he prepared. Patiently he had moved on to new soil, while the other seeds were taking root, preparing for their break through the surface as a sign that something wonderful was in fact happening! In time they would be ready for harvest. 

God's visions and dreams for our lives begin inside us, as he prepares the soil of our hearts to host the seed of his promises. These promises grow until they produce a harvest 100, 60 and 30 times what was sown. This is what Jesus meant when he said, "If a person remains in me and I in them, they will produce much fruit (John 15:5)."


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